honestly that baby tattoo story is already so surreal and implausible i dont have the heart to tell anyone that it also has a party hat and he refers to it as party baby and i still dont know whos baby it is
samson and delilah is a great story because not only is samson dumb strong he’s also just dumb in general possibly the dumbest man on earth. his weird girlfriend asks him like 3 different times how to fuck up his life and he never once thinks “god maybe i shouldn’t answer this at all in fact maybe delilah is out to fuck my shit up” he just gives her a couple bullshit fake answers hoping to shut her up. like incredibly specific fake answers that could not be a coincidence if she proceeded to exactly those things. “oh if i get tied up with 7 new bowstrings i’ll lose my strength” actually i think his answer had to do with bowstrings every time just like in different combinations. i don’t remember anyway he told her ALL THAT HOGWASH and still at the end he STILL told her okay if you cut my hair i just mcfreaking lose it but please don’t do that. guess what she did
samson and delilah is a cautionary tale about how being horny will make you stupid and ruin your life
after years of playing percy and spending hours upon hours researching engineering and guns and inventions taliesin finally said “fuck this” and just made his next 2 characters illiterate
